Sunday, June 5, 2011

Here today, gone tomorrow.


Disclaimer: Today I am really sad. Sorry this post is not a happy one...

Boy is away in New York this weekend and I can't wait for him to come home already. He left Thursday morning and will be back tomorrow. Last night he called around 2AM with terrible news. This was one of our close friends in college. I hadn't talked to him in months, but just hours before the accident I bbm'd him and I still have the conversation on my phone. He was gone about 6 hours later. I can't stop thinking about this. I don't have a lot to say right now, but I just can't get over that I literally just talked to him. You really never know how long you have on earth, and now more than ever I feel so grateful for the possibilities of tomorrow and the God-given ignorance that we never know when it could all be over.

I'm thankful for...
1. Knowing Jimmy. When I started dating boy Junior year of college, Jimmy was one of the few fraternity brothers I knew at the house since Freshman year, so I usually ended up hanging with him when boy wasn't around. He was always so friendly and sweet. He was also one of the six people (including boy and myself) that would stay up until 6AM dancing in a fraternity basement and walk to breakfast at the diner before FINALLY going home. Most of all I'll never forget his smile. Its probably the most genuine and beautiful smile I've ever seen, which is sort of funny because "beautiful smile" usually goes to a woman. But Jimmy smiled with his whole being and it always made you feel welcome. I miss him already.
2. Tears. Sometimes you just need to cry.
3. Silver Linings. I'm not sure you would call this a silver lining, but boy is actually in New York this weekend for an annual barbecue his fraternity hosts in honor of a brother that passed away very young from sudden heart failure. Thank God he is with all his friends through this tragic time and they can grieve together and cheer each other up.
4. Boy. He has such a kind heart. I can't wait to just hug him. In fact, I'm thankful for hugs. They can mean so much more than a kiss sometimes.
5. Today. Because tomorrow is never certain.

Goal Tomorrow: Spend the day pampering myself and walking around alone with my journal. Today I've felt so introspective I feel like there are so many feelings I want to remember.

Disclaimer.... I'm really sad. Sorry this post is such a downer.

3 comments:

  1. I am so sorry!! Sounds like he left a legacy of love and fun!

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  2. nicee :)
    follow you now..hope you'll also follow me xoxo

    http://msabrinam.blogspot.com/

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  3. I'm SO sorry for this!! Remember the good times, it helps, promise!

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